Recently, I was talking to one of our alumni who is now CEO of a mid-size company, and I asked him, "How does it feel to run a business?". He honestly replied, "I don't know ... actually the business runs me!".
There is this curious, Frankenstein-ian power equation between creator and creation, master and slave, principal and agent, hunter and prey ... after a point in the relationship, it becomes hard to say who runs who! I often find bosses so dependent on key employees that they are held to ransom by them eventually, distributors and suppliers giving headaches to the companies that hired them in the first place, spouses attempting to "run" each other, not to mention kids running their parents crazy :)
Perhaps it is inevitable that power equations in human relationships will change over time, so let us not dwell on that any further. Here is something even more curious: technology and tools start running people, too (think of all the people you know who cannot help but respond to every email on their blackberries or to every SMS or call on their mobile phones). Another interesting one: I have found that "to-do" lists run people: some of us are so fixated on checking things off on our to-do lists that we forget to enjoy the moments that life is made up of, or even lose sight of the fundamental reason why the item was on the list to begin with.
Why does this happen? Why do we cede control of our lives - albeit unconsciously - to the tools that are supposed to help us take more control of it? Is it that we get "addicted" to them and then the addiction runs us? Is it perhaps the instant gratification - a sense of achievement or a sense of connected-ness - that we crave?
My own to-do list is a tool that wields considerable power over me ... most people who know me well would say, "if you really want it done, make sure it gets on his to-do list". Does my to-do list run me? I fear that it could if I let it. So I make it a point to step back from it every week, and ask myself the broader questions, "These activities are all fine, but what are they all adding up to? Are they taking me where I want to go?" These questions are very important to ask regularly to keep the to-do list in its place and not let it run its author.
Fine, so maybe my to-do list does not run me, after all. The million-dollar question is: what does? I will return to this question in another post, but let me leave you now with a poser from me...
What runs you?
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it is really thought provoking.to reach some destination in life,we often dont enjoy the journey,many beautiful things we miss out.life is made of many moments,we must observe them,learn from them,then we might have control over them,and hence we master them.its quite common,Look a moments pleasure or a moments mistake where it has landed me.
ReplyDeleteyes,this reminds me of a P.G. Wodehouse where the main protagnist once casually remarks that: he worked for his butler.!
ReplyDeletemost equations are in a chakra and with the kaal chakra they change....look at money for instance..it began as a replacement for barter system,it is but a tool, to get things which we perceive would make us, happy..we however end up making it the aim of our lives,and this hapens even to people whose main aim may not be money but when they deal with people, whose it is, they have to understand that psyche.
all relation ship thus evolve grow or out grow. Only ,according to me, those relationships survive where there is no aim for control . (rare)
this control is what runs most of us..control children ;control spouse; control home; control self; control position; control opinion for self and other too;control media;control boss-employee...etc. etc...
a "to -Do" list freak is not uncommon it helps one have control over tasks at hand,once ticked off the list makes you feel good and in control of time and tasks.no doubt leaving most of us drained and tired..but have you thought of the other side, if this list is not there or not done....then we are at the receiving end of un fulfilled expectations..of a child or spouse or boss or employee or friendand of our own.
therefore All "to -do " list people !carry on! for you have your world to achieve..ha ha ha...
its sense of peace and happiness which runs us only we need to identify what would bring it to us ...half of us don't know we want...
keeptin posting
interesting..i have to make up my mind what runs me..running I am
ReplyDeletemoney runs most of us and our lives and relation ships...happy to know you are a happy single dad... by thw way dads are always single(one and only)!!..you mean single parent(happy one) perhaps...great.. single parents who groan and complain make parenting a pain and are nothing more than a pain to their kids..if you find it good..your child does too.lucky
ReplyDeleteThis is a thought provoking entry. It is true that sometimes the processes or goals tend to be so consuming we lose track of the bigger picture.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of the more fundamental question of evolution: Do we have control over our actions or are we just a slave of our impulses, genes, and hormones? It would seem like the answer is obvious, but as we've discussed previously, it is not.
Nice entry, keep on blogging!
Thanks all, for your comments and thoughts, which make very interesting points. There is a theme in your comments about the whole notion of control: how we tend to tie ourselves in knots trying to exercise control over everything, while it is unclear how much control we have even on our own selves! There is another theme about how we're surely running, but unsure why exactly :)
ReplyDeleteWhat runs me?
ReplyDeleteAmbition..The 'what' to acheive can be very many things, but the root to that and the route as well is common .. Ambition..
ironically, sometimes i also wonder - is it a strength or a weakness?
to answer that I guess 'channelising' is the key.. but then to be able to channelise well judgement becomes important.. that then leads to the spiral again.. and to me it invariably again reaches back to Ambition.
Ultimately its self-driven, the objective, the journey, the destination, the comparisons enroute and the reward.
Best/
Harjeet